the four gift rule :: how to buy presents

Christmas is my favourite time of year, as I guess, it is for some of you. But the big dilemma each year is, what and how to buy your presents.

It is true that most of us, and especially at this time, are ruled by a very tight budget, but to keep to the Holiday spirit you still want to be able to gift your loved ones with something meaningful or at the least something to say 'I care for you' on this special time.

If you have children then you know what 'Christmas cheer' means since they have invaded your life...the smile on those faces, the excitement all around the season, from the glittery decor, twinkling lights, to the merry songs!

The secret, as it is for most things in life, is to keep focused and edit! 
It means focusing on what's important, do not deviate from the task at hand (getting distracted with the next-best thing...or store!) and editing - which is eliminating anything superfluous.

This is a great rule to follow, especially for your own children, which, I believe, will be the ones getting the most number and most meaningful presents from you (you will not dare ever skip them from your list!).

So, here's the FOUR GIFT RULE which you can keep safe and locked in your secrets drawer (together with your Santa's costume and tooth-fairy mini letters) and use it over and over again, every Christmas.

And don't forget to pass the word around to other grown ups in trouble!

Love,
Pippa xoxo

strong is the new pretty

a unique project by photographer Kate T. Parker

A female photographer has taken a series of incredibly moving images of her daughters, depicting girls as anything but the fairer sex, proving they have guts and that Strong is the new pretty.

Read more about this project and see all the other images at the photographer's website (here).

10 secrets for raising happy children!

All parents know what they want for their children, since that very first second they are born. Or at least they think they know, and truly believe they're educating them in the best possible way, preparing them for a future in a way they can succeed in the direction of their {your} plans.

But have you really thought about it? What do I really want for my children?

Questions like: where do you want them to go to school? What kind of people do you want them to become?

Some days you really just want them to finally get their room tidy, or do their homework with no fuss, or have a good night's sleep. On other days, we shape their plans and construct what we consider to be the first foundations of their castles. We dream about successful careers, shiny trophies and perfect mates, we make comparisons, we follow milestones.  

Life has become far too scripted today. Plans are made. Classes are attended. Gone are the days of free play and creating something out of nothing. Once upon a time, childhood was filled with endless days spent outside and very little TV. Imaginations ran wild and kids made their own fun with nothing but an old cardboard box. They played, learned and socialised. But most of all, they had fun.

Many kids today are simply following the script. That's not to say that they aren't happy, many are. But many aren't. Many kids live a life full of adventure and wonder in their own backyards. But many don't. Many simply follow the 'plan'. And that's a shame, because childhood should be all about happiness. 

Yes, the answer is simple, and unanimous: we all want our children to be happy. Now and forever.

Happiness is {still} the most precious and most wanted asset in this world, you simply can't plan it, you simply can't buy it.

You create it. You build it.

So here are 10 tips {applied with lots of patience and flexibility} that will help you on that path to raising highly happy children.

1. Be 'THE' example. Be Happy.

Making yourself happy is the best way to teach the path of happiness to your children.
You are going to lead by example and your child will want to follow you. Kids do what you do, not what you say! They observe and imitate. You should show them what a happy person looks like. 

Set an example of self-love and self-care. Let them grow watching you say nice things about yourself and investing time in the activities you love...they will follow suit.

Happy parents mean happy children. And, let's face it, the best reason to make yourself happy is because you will be able to better care for you children.


2. Give them time, not things.

You know the story of the rich child who is unhappy because their parents simply don't spend enough time with them - they compensate that giving them stuff! I surely know of some.
You also may have noticed that your children rather spend hours playing some tired old game with you rather than with anything else. Not that they're bored of their other toys, they just enjoy spending the time with you...and when that happens, doesn't their attention span get so much better?!

Spend quality time together, it will help them develop self-esteem and confidence. Kids are intuitive and know when you are truly listening to them, they feel ore connected. Listen, it's the best way to create an open and honest relationship, and it increases their overall happiness.
You will create bonds and memories richer than anything else. For them,and for you.

Teenagers, on the other hand, want things. Give them time also. They don't know it, but that's what they need too.

{NOTE}- in here, I also wanted to include hugs, lots of hugs. Remember, not so long ago they lived happily inside your own body, so body warmth gives them comfort and security. I once read that for a child to feel loved they needed to receive up to 10 hugs a day! I didn't checked for the truth or science behind it, but just in case I always used that on my own children. As much as I can, for no apparent reason you get accustomed to being in each other's arms - well, you just do it anyway!


3. Teach them to be grateful.

Saying 'thank you' is more than good manners. It is being grateful for what we have. Being aware of what's good in life, what people offer us, what we get {you can encourage gratefulness using a daily journal, for example, as part of their dinner routine, where they can point out all the things they are grateful for on that day}.
It's great to teach them that the glass is half-full and no half-empty.

Teach them to be happy with what they have got, instead of being unhappy {and complaining} with what they haven't got.

4. Let them play without instructions. Let them learn for themselves.

Getting on the bike for the first time, your child will learn how to fall and get up as many times as needed until frustration sets in. That will teach persistence and strength of will. When they finally make it, they will feel the taste of their own glory, the fruit of their own efforts.

No one can be happy all the time, every single minute of their day. Children need to learn to tolerate anguish and unhappiness. Our role is to teach them how to walk, not carry them in our arms for the rest of their lives.

Let them play for themselves, setting their own rules. Play is good for the soul.



5. Let them make choices.

Kids have very little control over their own lives. They are constantly being told where to go, what to do and what to eat. A little bit of control goes a long way toward feeling happy and learning about decision making. Let your kids choose their outfits, for example. Allow them to choose the dinner menu one night per week {at home, we always have Pizza Friday, as the kids' choice!}. Ask them what classes they want to take. Give them the opportunity to make some 'little' decisions and watch them smile in return.


6. Say 'NO'.

The World is going to say 'no' to your child, many times in their life. Let them get used to the word 'no' while they are still safe at home with people that love them - it's the best exercise for later life.

Beside, the rest of the world will appreciate not being around in the way of your child's 'someone-said-no-to-me' tantrum.


7. Let them express emotions.

It's important to allow your child to be unhappy once in a while - to express their emotions. They need to learn how to deal with unhappiness, anger and angst, as it is also part of life, part of the human experience. The more comfortable your kids are with those 'negative' emotions, the better they'll be able to feel others like joy and love.

We adults know when to call a friend when the going gets though, right? Let children vent in their own way and then offer help. Enduring a public temper tantrum might feel overwhelming in the moment, but it is better than a lifetime of internalising negative emotions that could lead to a plethora of issues including depression and emotional problems.

Help them exteriorise and recognise what they are feeling. They need to feel our support in those times. Put your arms around them, they will feel that you are on their side. It is agony to watch your child hurt, and telling yourself that it's good for them - what does help is empathy, you understand what they are feeling.

8. Let them experience unconditional love.

Kids mess up. You tell them not to jump off the sofa over and over again, but they do it anyway. When you finally get 'serious' and give them an ultimatum - 'it's the last time I'm warning you...' they stop and start crying. Children need to learn by trial and error and some just feel the need to take risks/chances. You need to show them that there are consequences to their actions. But even so, parents will forgive them, will love them. They will become more confident and secure in their decisions and are more likely to eventually choose to take healthier risks. They learn that people make mistakes, but there is always a chance to make it right.

When children know that their parents will always be there for them, for better or for worse, they are happy.


9. Offer them routine {eat and sleep}

Eating on time.
I know what you're thinking, that's too simple to be a real parenting strategy. Think again.
Have you ever been so hungry that you just wanted to scream? That's how kids feel when they miss a snack or have to wait two hours past their normal mealtime to participate in some super-fancy family dinner. 
Eating at regular intervals refuels their growing brains and bodies, and keeps hunger under control. When kids are calm and satisfied, they experience greater happiness.

Getting consistent sleep.
Some kids are better sleepers than others. While that's certainly the truth, it isn't an excuse for poor sleeping habits. Kids need to learn how to sleep. It's up to us to teach them. When they are completely exhausted, they are cranky. When they are well-rested and ready to embrace the day, they are happier. Make sleep {and a consistent bedtime} a priority.


10. Accept their uniqueness.

Everyone is unique. And most of the times we expect our children to come out with a brand of uniqueness which relates to ours - same opinions and interesting perspectives on the world, same weirdness.

Instead, our kids end up as a self-proclaimed atheist with political views very different from ours. Many of their quirks and interests are completely foreign to us and it's hard not to wonder where they came from.

Who they are isn't about you. They are, indeed, unique. Let them, and appreciate them. Encourage them to fly on their own freak flags, accepting them completely so that they can learn to accept themselves.



:: text:: resources 1, 2, 3

::images::
photos and happy children by Nicola Johnson Photography

lately...on {my} instagram

Well, lately on Instagram I have been loading older photos. Those that linger on your phone and somehow you forget all about them, the kind that they're too nice to erase and not that good to be 'instagram' material right away...you know, those kind of ones!

I say 'old' as in a couple of months... so not that long, and still relevant.

The greens and blues of the Portuguese 'Ribatejo' countryside...and its vast skies!
I love the photo of the old man resting outside his picturesque house, by the cross.

The skies are falling, the winds are calling.

These woods are just amazing, I love how the sky was so grey and heavy although there was a light, a brightness which contrasted perfectly with the darkness inside, as if calling us to a pitch black unknown.

I also added a 'selfie'....I usually don't do them {although I have decided to do it more now} which was then featured on the daily instagram picks by instagrammers portugal {@igersportugal}. I was stoked {and honoured}!!

A visit to the brick stoves and factory; a church on top of a hill; and, an extremely colourful leaf.

I confess I fell blessed as I am one of those people who are daily graced with the kindness of strangers. It's true, and I hope never to lose the ability to see those tiny little gifts the universe throws at me and always be grateful for them.

Maybe it just comes to compensate the injustices and mistreats I have endured by close(r) ones. Who knows!

So this beautiful pomegranate was just one of those things, a colleague brought it in her handbag just for me, that morning. So sweet!

In Golega, Ribatejo {of Portugal} there is this magnificent Victorian house that was also the studio of Carlos Relvas. It is now the county's museum of photography.

I particularly loved all the details over the windows and the streetlamps.

I once designed {and painted} a marvellous chicken coup. And yes, that was also a photo of the first egg.

The house on the slope; and a flower within flowers.

The road that looks like it has been there forever; and sunset over the river.

The streets of Santarem in Autumn, filled with the hazy smoke of roasted chestnuts.

And, last but not least, my little baby boy was four!

As his birthday fell on a weekday he had two little parties {the lucky one!} one at school with his pals, and one at home with family and close friends. I suppose it is official, I no longer have a toddler....but let's pretend for just a little while more.

I hope you enjoyed this little peek into my 'home'.

To see all of these photos, and many more, follow: @filipal on instagram.

Pippa, xoxo

DIY Haunted House {by Mermag}

Here's a great DIY for your little trick-or-treaters, made from cardboard and duct tape by the creative minds at Mermag blog.

 

For full instructions and tutorial follow the Mermag blog link {here}.

Have fun!

blackboard adventures {baby photography}

It's more than usual, in the current times, for parents who love photography to create the most amazing baby photo albums for their children.

Anna Eftimie did just that.

She found a creative way to share photos of her newborn with friends and family who lived away - and this is the result. An essay against a black board putting the baby in the most fun adventures and peculiar situations.

You can check the whole creative essay Blackboard Adventures on the website {here} by Anna Eftimie.

::image source:: Blackboard Adventures website via Hypeness

in love with...car mobel

Today's great find comes all the way from Germany.

Car Moebel is a one-stop shop for all things wonderful and beautiful for the home. Though the section I'm most interested in is the kids' section {of course!}

Check for yourself the amazing items on display...and tell me it's impossible not to fall immensely in love with them all!

chest

cabinet

toy boxes

play house screen

cube desk and chair

toy shop

3er set suitcases

child's desk

Visit Car Moebel's website and also their facebook fanpage.

xoxo, Pippa

baby in great {photoshop} adventures

Swedish photographer Emil Nystrom has had the idea of photographing his baby girl, Signhild, in a very clever and super-fun series using Photoshop - putting her in the most daring situations and adventures.

Signhild will grow up to have one of the most original childhood photo albuns ever.

Take a look for yourself - I promise, it's impossible not to smile!

Check Emil's website for more of his work and also his facebook fanpage.

xoxo, Pippa